


Diary

by kivvyin



Series: Rain: KageHina [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide, Warnings May Change, ask for tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9414920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kivvyin/pseuds/kivvyin
Summary: Kageyama is gone and so is Hinata's happiness.It's been two weeks since Kageyama committed suicide, it feels like it's been years. Without Kageyama, Hinata's sun doesn't seem to shine.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A continuation of Scared: part one of Rain.
> 
> (Every chapter will begin with a poem, enjoy)
> 
> IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE TAGS PLEASE AVOID READING THE STORY

 It's hard waking up. 

It's hard going to sleep. 

It hard not seeing his face in reality. 

It's hard seeing his face in dreams.    


* * *

 

It's been two weeks since Kageyama killed himself. The team has still had practice, the students still go to class, the world still turns. But for Hinata, the sun doesn't shine anymore. It's lonely being alone, and it's even lonelier knowing you'll never see someone again. This must be how Kageyama felt.  

Nobody knows why Kageyama did what he did. Everyone had been ignorant to the pain he felt and the harm he caused himself. They just can't understand how someone with so much talent could take their own life away. Hinata, in some odd way, could. He understood Kageyama. He could tell if Kageyama was having a rough day just by a glance, same as he could see the slight blush on the boy's cheek when he was overjoyed. How could he not tell what was going on?  

\--    
 

Hinata just got home from practice, his shoes are wet from the rain. It's been raining a lot recently. It was raining the day Kageyama died, since then it's barely stopped. He unties the soggy laces of his sneakers and switches into slippers. The house is quiet and calm, crayons were left out on the small, round table and an empty coffee cup sat next to them. Normally him being alone would be a good thing. He would invite Kageyama over, but Kageyama isn't here.  

It's lonely. 

He walks down his hallway into him room. Next to his bed, surrounded by dirty laundry, is a neatly folded shirt: a uniform with the number 9.  

 _"You should take it." Daichi had said with a pitifully consoling look on his face. His mouth held the slightest of curve, but his eyes were heavy with dread. "We know how much he meant to you." Outstretched in his hand was Kageyama's uniform. The shirt, shorts, and sneakers he always wore. They were cleaned, of course, although Hinata wished they weren't. They were just trying to get rid of him, his presence. This is way Kageyama died in the first place! Hinata's thoughts stayed in his head_ , along with memories vividly painted red. 

The rain is hitting hard against his window, his hand is hitting hard against his head. Thoughts are flying around in his mind. He tries to close his eyes in hopes of flushing his brain out. All he can see in the spotted lights is Kageyama laying there, covered in red. There was a blade on the floor, it caught the artificial light. The raindrops, much like the ones now, looked eerily similar to the blood on Kageyama's legs. His head was slumped over facing downwards and his eyelids were lightly closed shut. If the environment hadn't been what it was, he would have looked peaceful. Hinata believes that what Kageyama wanted: peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I would post Hinata's pov in multiple chapters rather than all in one go. I might end up dedicating some chapters of other characters or flashbacks. Think of this as a Diary.
> 
> Follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/nokenma): nokenma


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